The $4.5 quadrillion project, spearheaded by Philmore Digital and targeted for a 2038 opening, would take up all of the state’s 662,000 acres – hosting 8.7 million A.I. applications and also storing recipes for the Pillsbury company. 

While 1600s-era domain laws empower the assembly to approve the project without putting it to a public vote, some residents are nonetheless concerned about what will become of them.

“Nobody has told us where we’re supposed to go,” says Jean Phipps, who has lived in Pawtucket all of her 71 years. “And they haven’t said what we’re supposed do do once we get there.”

Philmore CEO Laureen Foley insists that state’s 1.1 million residents have nothing to worry about.  “Wyoming and Nebraska have both said they’d welcome them with open arms,” she says, “and we’re waiting for  call back from Saskatchewan.”

Foley also dismisses concerns about the 17 trillion gallons of water per day the center will require to power its 548 billion gigabytes.

“It’s all coming from the Atlantic Ocean,” she says, “which our research tells us is an ocean with far more water than it needs.”

To honor Rhode Island’s history as one of the 13 original US colonies, Philmore will set aside 7.3 acres for the relocation of historic sites including the Breakers mansion, Truro Synagogue, and a portion of Roger Williams State Park. (The company is reserving the right to take the acres back if they’re needed for expansion down the line.)

“We’re kind of learning as we go,” says Foley. “This is our first state, but I’m pretty confident it won’t be our last.”

The post Entire State of Rhode Island May Soon be Replaced by One Enormous Data Center first appeared on Cubicle F.

The curtain rises on 36 actors who go by numbers instead of names, seated in a circle. Two at a time – then four, then six, etc. – they take to the giant game board painted with large circles of varying colors. The show winds down three hours later, after a breathtaking 42 different numbers.

That’s a lot of songs for one show – and while it may have worked somewhere else, the problem with a game-board show is that too many of the songs involve the same concept:  Right Hand Purple, Left Foot Blue and Don’t Kick My Leg Off the Yellow sound pretty much the same, for instance.

There are exceptions:  The lovely Sally Cloverland (Number 6) singing Hoping and Praying He Won’t Tumble – as she’s poised nervously under 300 pound Number 33.  And Jerry Fillip (Number 22) singing the plaintive My Green’s Your Blue generated a few sniffles in the middle of the second act.  

Word from the road:  As their last two shows – Up from DesMoines and Mechanical Mary – closed after six and two performances, respectively,  Alvierro and St. Marie-Vance desperately need a hit.  Since so far no critics in Pittsburgh have been able to sit through an entire performance, this may not be it.  

The post Twister the Musical Struggling in Pittsburgh first appeared on Cubicle F.

“It’s a chance for our people to see the different sides of Ms. Rankin,” says HR Director Tom Mosberg.  “Our research team has determined that she has 18 different sides.”

One employee is selected each month by a committee of 17 managers from across the company, who review personnel files and other data before narrowing the field to five finalists.  The five are interviewed, as are their bosses, then asked to submit a 2000 word essay on why they are deserving of the honor.

One staffer is ultimately chosen – and then the preparation begins.  Ten days before the dinner, two HR managers who work full time on the program visit the employees’s home for a preliminary inspection.  They recommend any modifications that need to take place – cleaning, painting, removal of offensive artwork, etc. 

“They’ll come back at least two more times,” says Mosberg, “so that they can go over potential conversational topics, and also impress upon any children the importance of the occasion and what it means to their mom’s or dad’s career.” 

Dinner and wines are provided by Ms. Rankin’s personal chef and sommelier, with the family paying only 50 percent of the cost.

Says accountant Janet Wallsburg, who’s family was visited in March:  “It was an absolutely wonderful experience with the finest in dining and conversation and Ms. Rankin couldn’t have been more genial to me and my family as she showed us her different sides.”  

“Everyone else has been equally effusive!” says Mosberg – with the exception of the January honoree, he acknowledges, who was dismissed two days after the dinner

“That decision was based entirely on performance,” he insists – and not on the fact that the family’s teacup poodle, Tippy, relieved itself on Ms. Rankin’s $4500 Louboutins.

The post Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? For Some Lucky People, it Could be the CEO! first appeared on Cubicle F.

The manuscript of Spilt Then the Julep had been in the possession of Mobile, Alabama gas station attendant Trace Filbin since August of 1971. He claims that Lee left it as collateral when she was short $3.17 on a fill-up and oil change, then never returned to pay up and get it back. After waiting 50 years – which he claims he thought he was required by law to do – Filbin sold it to New York publisher Sontag-Millins for the $3.17 he was owed, plus $400. 

Sources who’ve seen the proofs say that while the original book about the Finch family, To Kill a Mockingbird, is set in the 1930s and Watchman starts in the 50s, Julep takes place over the course of four months, beginning the day in 1962 when Ringo Starr replaced Pete Best as drummer for The Beatles – though this is referenced only once, in passing, by Finch housekeeper Calpurnia Coleman.

Some other highlights, according to the sources:

• Jean Louise “Scout” Finch has grown more sophisticated and has taken to eating oysters. She also has a pet terrier named Leo, who she claims is clairvoyant, though the dog shows no sign of this other than whimpering whenever a door opens.
• Her father, Atticus Finch, has retired from the law and focuses all his energy on watching TV reruns of “The Honeymooners.”  He talks of little else but the Kramdens and Nortons.  
• Former prosecuting attorney Horace Gilmer is finally named Town Drunk, after having unofficially served in the capacity for over 20 years,
• Walter Cunningham, the impoverished boy who poured maple syrup over his meat and vegetables in Mockingbird, is now a successful accountant.  When dining with the Finches in Julep, he does the same thing again. This time, instead of asking, “What in Sam Hill are you doing?” Scout excuses herself from the table and moves to Memphis for three months.
• The character based on writer Truman Capote, Dill Harris, returns from Italy and shows up at various social functions making offensive remarks, like, “Is that your nose or are you eating a potato?” Some of the townspeople discuss riding him out of town on a rail, but owing to the cost of rails they opt to flatten his tires instead.
• Boo Radley, the phantom neighbor who saved Scout and her brother Jem from the drunken Bob Ewell has gotten over his shy ways and opened up a nightclub. His romance with sultry singer Gwendoline Williams is well known, but rarely talked about.

Publication has been tentatively scheduled for July 15. 

The post Another Lost Novel by Harper Lee to be Published in July first appeared on Cubicle F.

As of last April 1, however, the price had dropped to an all-time low of $23.68.

“There are usually external factors you can blame when things like this happen,” says company CFO MaryAnn Plemming.  “In this case, however, we believe the decline was due solely to underperforming staffers who stepped away from the plate.”

Hesitant to terminate any of the staff and lose a combined 12,345 years of experience, on April 15 the company issued the following sanctions – which will remain in place until the January 2023 stock price is reached once again:

• All employee parking spots have been moved to another lot, 1.5 miles away from the office.
• The “Tomato Surprise” – always a favorite in the cafeteria – is no longer a surprise, as its ingredients are now published and displayed at the cash register.
• The annual “Share Your Seasonings at Work” day, usually held in June, is being cancelled. Further, employees must surrender their seasonings until the stock price turns around.
• Women named Judy are not allowed to talk to women named Sally, or to men named George or Austin.
• Every workday, five employees are selected by drawing to stand in the hallway outside the executive offices, with their heads hung in shame.

“We take no pleasure in instituting these measures,” says Plemming, “but we must do what’s necessary for our stockholders, shareholders, stakeholders and all ancillary holders.”

The post Fed Up With an Underperforming Staff, Ohio Firm Imposes Sanctions first appeared on Cubicle F.

Starting February 1, 2026, the act of relieving oneself will also be improved as PoopGPT becomes available for purchase.

“The US businessperson faces many challenges during the course of a workday,” says Shirley Addison, CEO of TruckPile, which developed the software.  “By far the most inefficient and unpleasant is the act of going to the restroom.”

PoopGPT will change all that, she says – not just managing and scheduling, but actually taking over the physical act itself. 

“What was once considered unpleasant and a nuisance, really, will become as routine and enjoyable as sending an email or updating a timeline,” says Addison.

The program was tested at 20 companies across the US for three. months last spring, and the results were largely even better than anticipated.

“There was some resistance to AI getting itself involved in such a personal process,” says Darren Hoostra, HR Director at Hansen/Weeks Chicago, one of the test sites.  “But after just three or four days the staff was noticeably less stressed and perkier, and even walked with more of a spring in their steps. 

There was also an upswing  in productivity, since personnel were spending  67 percent less time on the process and could devote more attention to strategies and task forces.  

Hansen/Weeks has also projected an annual savings of $104,000, based on having to purchase fewer tissue rolls, soap products, and deodorizers. 

The post A.I. Will Take Over Another Daily Task With the Launch of PoopGPT first appeared on Cubicle F.

The librettist, Pam Winters is a hot property right now. Her book for Seat of His Pants was nominated for a Clappy in 2018, and she co-wrote the Monica Rooney vehicle Girl in the Middle with Leona Fuller in 2020. (The latter ran for for 987 performances, even after Rooney suddenly refused to sing the Act 1 finale, Stay Away From Stanley, and was replaced by Sheila Feller)

The songwriting team of Sid Palmer and Al Rice hasn’t been so lucky.  Don’t Blame the Gypsy ran for three performances in 2013. Six years later, Theodore! – based on Leave it to Beaver – closed after just two when Willie Pitts, who played Eddie Haskell, got the lead in the sit-com,  Who’s That Barista? .  (Pitts’ Good Morning, Mrs. Cleaver, My That Broach Looks Great on You was given to Hal Sims, who played Lumpy Rutherford, which didn’t help)

Most involved with Morey are wildly enthused about the project – particularly citing the act two eleven o’clock number: Madam, They Call it a Cello!

It’s also been reported that during a recent rehearsal producer Solly Weiner stopped the company in the middle of a first act tap routine to berate a clumsy chorus girl.  “You’ll never work in this town again!” he yelled, reportedly the first time that line has actually been spoken outside TV and the movies.

Hopefully such behavior can be attributed to a bad case of jitters, and the show will be the success everyone’s predicting. 

The post New Morey Amsterdam Musical Set to Open at NYC’s Goldman Theatre Next Week first appeared on Cubicle F.

“If you have to have brain surgery, where’s a better place than in the comfort of your own home?” says Sandy McClain, CEO of app developers XBam2. “Especially when it’ll only cost you $350!” This includes a $50 “Happy Recovery” gift certificate redeemable at 15 national restaurant chains.

Cortex works just like any other shared economy service: If you want to order brain surgery, you plug in the pertinent info – age, gender, type of surgery – and a Cortex rep will arrive at your home within 20 minutes, equipped with the necessary tools.

XBam2 began testing the app on last March in two markets – Newark, Ohio and Benton Harbor, Michigan. “On the average, we’re in and out in under an hour,” says McCain, who first gained notice in 2018 for the BlimK app that categorizes raisins 1,100 ways.

Not surprisingly, Cortex has drawn criticism from the Associated Institution of Neurosurgeons.

“My major complaint is that these people haven’t gone to medical school,” says the group’s president, Dr. Steven Durning. “So can you really trust them to operate on your brain?”

McClain dismisses such criticism.  She says Cortex’s success rate is 87 percent – expected to hit 93 upon expansion into 500 more markets in January 2025 – and that a high school diploma makes a person more than qualified to perform in-home brain surgery.

“After all,” she says, “it’s not rocket science.”

The post New Phone App Disrupts Neurosurgery Industry by Offering In-Home Operations first appeared on Cubicle F.

“It took us over nine years to get them all together,” says Moline, “including six months just to get 22 of Eddie Albert’s.”  The “Green Acres” actor owned a total of 436, she says.

The idea is for people to be able to take off their shoes, then put them back on using the same shoehorns once used by Bette Davis, John Barrymore, or Shecky Green.  “You’ll be experiencing exactly what these well known people experienced, feeling exactly how they felt when they put on their own shoes.”

Since 2010, when Portugese curator Alsim Planns was appointed the Simms’ director, there has been a major shift toward participatory exhibits – 2011s Variétés, for instance, which invited patrons to sort ketchup packs into categories, and 2020’s Courir! where trained squirrels chased people around a circular track 

“It’s no longer just about staring at a Picasso and asking your friend if it speaks to them,” says Moline.  Four years ago, incidentally, the Simms turned down her proposal to purchase 22 of the lesser known Picasso works – including Étude en bleu de comptable fiscaliste (Study in Blue of Tax Accountant) – and then allow patrons to draw on them with magic markers.

“They claimed it was the $234 million cost,” says Moline.

The FITS opening night reception is expected to draw over 600 – including Tamara Clorey, of Nashville, who will be showing her emerald-encrusted Elvis Presley shoehorn, for which she paid$3.7 million and claims is the worlds’ third most valuable.

The post Cleveland’s Simms Museum to Open Exhibit of 1800 Celebrity Shoehorns first appeared on Cubicle F.

Today, the average is just four – and some have given up their entourages entirely.  

“It’s not about the money,” says Nora Willson, an expert on corporate entourages at Cleveland’s Paxington Institute. “It’s about finding the people to be in them.”

Since the start of the pandemic in 2020, the number of people applying for all positions at US companies has declined by 75 percent.  “When you need a CFO or a suspension analyst,” says Willson, “it’s hard to justify filling an entourage position.”  

Most entourages, she notes, are made up of people with no other responsibilities, available 24 hours a day to make the CEO appear important.  Stakeholders expect them to be in place, and when they’re not the results can be disastrous. 

“Last year I cut my entourage,” says the CEO of a multi-billion dollar polymer developer. “Within four days, our stock price had fallen by 17 percent.”  Stockholders took it at as a sign that bad times were coming, she says, so she had no choice but to re-start .

“The stock’s on its way back up,” she says. “Thank God!”

But many companies don’t have such flexibility.

“I had five people for over 20 years but now I need pattern appraisers,” says a transformative CEO who disbanded his entourage  a couple months ago. While he was able to fill the appraiser positions, he feels he isn’t getting as much respect.

“Last week a route planner parked in my designated spot,” he says. “I fear that’s just the beginning.”

The post Executive Entourages Have Shrunk by Average of 66 percent Since 2018 first appeared on Cubicle F.