The $4.5 quadrillion project, spearheaded by Philmore Digital and targeted for a 2038 opening, would take up all of the state’s 662,000 acres – hosting 8.7 million A.I. applications and also storing recipes for the Pillsbury company. 

While 1600s-era domain laws empower the assembly to approve the project without putting it to a public vote, some residents are nonetheless concerned about what will become of them.

“Nobody has told us where we’re supposed to go,” says Jean Phipps, who has lived in Pawtucket all of her 71 years. “And they haven’t said what we’re supposed do do once we get there.”

Philmore CEO Laureen Foley insists that state’s 1.1 million residents have nothing to worry about.  “Wyoming and Nebraska have both said they’d welcome them with open arms,” she says, “and we’re waiting for  call back from Saskatchewan.”

Foley also dismisses concerns about the 17 trillion gallons of water per day the center will require to power its 548 billion gigabytes.

“It’s all coming from the Atlantic Ocean,” she says, “which our research tells us is an ocean with far more water than it needs.”

To honor Rhode Island’s history as one of the 13 original US colonies, Philmore will set aside 7.3 acres for the relocation of historic sites including the Breakers mansion, Truro Synagogue, and a portion of Roger Williams State Park. (The company is reserving the right to take the acres back if they’re needed for expansion down the line.)

“We’re kind of learning as we go,” says Foley. “This is our first state, but I’m pretty confident it won’t be our last.”

The post Entire State of Rhode Island May Soon be Replaced by One Enormous Data Center first appeared on Cubicle F.

“Our first three months in business we averaged 12 customers a night,” says eatery owner Tammy Brents. “Today that number is over 17.”  She believes the increase is because more and more diners are becoming wary of ingredients.

“When people gain weight or feel nauseous after eating, it’s almost always attributable to the ingredients in their food,” she says. “By preparing our meals entirely without ingredients we eliminate these risks and keep our customers healthy.”

Says one customer, Lena Dillman of Ann Arbor:  “At last I’ve found a guilt-free dining experience.”  The 37 year-old habitat analyst has eaten at Montie’s six times since it opened, and says she’s lost nearly two pounds.   “I also have an easier time remembering song lyrics,” she says, “especially ones by the Beach Boys.”

Other Detroit restaurants have been offering limited ingredients-free fare since the early 2010s, but Montie’s is the first to devote its entire menu to the format – including house specialties like ingredients-free pasta primavera and ingredients-free double Dutch chocolate cake.

“We believe that today’s diner is looking for atmosphere, presentation and healthfulness,” Brent says. “Whether or not their food has ingredients is really secondary.”

The post Ingredients-Free Menu Makes for Healthier Dining Experience first appeared on Cubicle F.

Accounting Manager Sandra Polling tried to calm things down. “Let’s not blow the panic whistle,” she said.  As soon as the words departed her lips, she knew. Warren quickly adjourned the meeting.  As everyone filed out they avoided looking at Polling.

“I’ve known for 20 years that it’s the panic button and you push it, you don’t blow it,” she says.  “Why did I say whistle!?”  Polling, whose career had been steadily advancing, figured the whole thing would blow over in a couple weeks.  Sadly, she was wrong

“The very same dayI was asked to leave three different task forces,” she says.  A fourth group – on lavatory soap dispensers – didn’t kick her off, but refused to tell her where they were meeting.  Two rubber plants were removed from her office.

Polling says she understands. “I know they think if you don’t know your expressions, what else don’t you know?”  Still, she didn’t expect the reaction to be so harsh.  “I tried to get in to see Ms Warren, but her assistant says her next opening is in 2028.”

Having not received any assignments since the meeting, Polling plans to petition the UBEI (US Business Expression Institute) to officially change the term from “button” to whistle.” “It’s more logical to blow a whistle,” she says.  Meanwhile she’s doing her best to look busy. 

“I’m just keeping my feet to the grindstone,” she says.  

The post Manager Cancelled For Referring to Panic Button as the Panic “Whistle” first appeared on Cubicle F.

“It’s because of the regulars like Matt and Janine,” says Steve Murray,  a pipe fitter who’s been a regular since 1992.  “Or Judy the cook’s Friday night perch, which has a reputation of renown.”   Mainly, he says, it’s because it’s just Doug’s – cheap green maple paneling, mismatched tables and stools, and pictures of random smiling people covering every wall.

Last month Doug’s was purchased by Remson Hospitality, which operates the upscale Starve! restaurants across the US.  Remson will open 20 exact replicas of Doug’s in major cities across the US next year.

“We’ll capture the clientele looking for that true, authentic neighborhood vibe,” says Remson CEO Marlo Sims. “A place where people can just chill.  Or just relax if they’re not familiar with the concept of chilling.”

To ensure authenticity, Sims has hired 34 designers, builders and influencers to ensure exact duplication down to the gouges in the panelling and the rips in the photos.  And 12 culinary experts are working around the clock to match Judy’s recipes. 

Also, at each location actors will be hired to play Matt and Janine. The actual Matt and Janine will conduct trainings on conversational topics, hand gestures, and how to laugh and belch like they do.  Some minor plastic surgery will also be involved.

No actor will be needed to play Stu, another regular who’s passed out by 7:30 every night, his head resting on the bar.  To save money, Remson has ordered ten Stus made of lifelike byo-lene. 

The only difference between the replicas and the original, says CEO Sims, will be the menu prices.  While burgers at the original Doug’s start $8.55, those at the replicas will cost at least $55.  Cocktails will average $40, not $4.00.

“Other than that,” says Remson. “It’ll be the exact same Doug’s.”

The post One of a Kind Neighborhood Bar to be Duplicated in 20 Cities Across USA first appeared on Cubicle F.

The situation has created an opportunity for Prattman Inc., the USA’s largest manufacturer of chopping blocks. As recently as 2008, the company was making only about 15,000 a year, compared to 17.5 million today.

“If a chopping block in the mid 90s could accommodate five heads it was considered state of the art,” says Prattman CEO Monique Williker. “Today if it doesn’t hold 35 there’s usually a waiting list to get one’s head onto it.”

Most of the company’s business is making standardized models for 20, 30 or 40 heads. However, it has made one that holds just two, for a Cincinnati baker, and one for 10,000, ordered by an intricacies conglomerate Williker refuses to name.

It’s not unusual, says Williker, for companies to spend $1 million or more on a chopping block  – like one for the Touline Group of Toledo, Ohio. Carved from North Carolina Walnut with a zirconite trim, it will be unveiled next month at a ceremony for all employees in the company’s main lobby.

“Updating your chopping block scenario sends a message to both shareholders and employees that your company can adapt to change,” says Williker. “That’s good for your image and good for morale.”

The post As Number of Heads on Them Grows, Production of Chopping Blocks Soars first appeared on Cubicle F.

The curtain rises on 36 actors who go by numbers instead of names, seated in a circle. Two at a time – then four, then six, etc. – they take to the giant game board painted with large circles of varying colors. The show winds down three hours later, after a breathtaking 42 different numbers.

That’s a lot of songs for one show – and while it may have worked somewhere else, the problem with a game-board show is that too many of the songs involve the same concept:  Right Hand Purple, Left Foot Blue and Don’t Kick My Leg Off the Yellow sound pretty much the same, for instance.

There are exceptions:  The lovely Sally Cloverland (Number 6) singing Hoping and Praying He Won’t Tumble – as she’s poised nervously under 300 pound Number 33.  And Jerry Fillip (Number 22) singing the plaintive My Green’s Your Blue generated a few sniffles in the middle of the second act.  

Word from the road:  As their last two shows – Up from DesMoines and Mechanical Mary – closed after six and two performances, respectively,  Alvierro and St. Marie-Vance desperately need a hit.  Since so far no critics in Pittsburgh have been able to sit through an entire performance, this may not be it.  

The post Twister the Musical Struggling in Pittsburgh first appeared on Cubicle F.

“This was supposed to change everything,” says William Sandler, dean of Northeast Minnesota College of Mining and Engineering. “This was supposed to be the mechanical engineer that could analyze a concept and develop a procedurals framework in less than half the time it took an ordinary mechanical engineer.”

Based on this, hundreds of engineering firms hired the free rangers starting in 2020.  Last year, however, an analysis showed that it actually takes the free-rangers an average of 76.5 hours longer to complete most tasks – and that over half of them have never developed a single framework, or anything at all.

“Apparently, by not confining them to their drawing boards and letting them just wander, we’ve played havoc with their powers of concentration,” says Sandler.  Meanwhile, companies across the USA have been left holding the bag.

“We assumed the more we hired the more successful we’d be,” says Melissa Harsig, CEO of Plagens Development in Minneapollis.  In 2022 Plagens hired 14 free-rangers to work on projects –  including the $1.5 billion Fumington Bridge.

“We spent so much time rounding them up that nothing got done” says Harsig.  Plagens lost not only the bridge project, but 22 others representing $70 million in revenue.  The company replaced the 14 with stationary engineers and is still trying to recover.  “We have a steep hill to climb,” says Harsig.

Other companies have followed suit.  In 2022, there were 4,500 free range mechanical engineers employed at US firms. Today there are just two – neither of whom can currently be located.

The post Free Range Mechanical Engineers Fail to Meet Expectations first appeared on Cubicle F.

“Eleanor,” the new A.I. assistant launched by GPingo in February, takes the process to a higher level.  She eliminates jobs, but doesn’t bother taking over any of their functions.  She just eliminates the jobs.

“The goal  of A.I. is to reduce headcount, right?” says Gene Eiler, GPingo’s Chief Explanation Officer.  “Why waste time and worry reassigning responsibilities?”    

The beauty of it all, he says, is that Eleanor decides which companies to target and which jobs to get rid of.  And once she gets going, it’s impossible to stop her

“We were actually doing pretty well,” says Dorothy Sanford, HR Director of Nashville reimbursement start-up NoToGoTo.  “We were humming along with 34 full-time employees and were on the verge of hiring five more.”  Then, she says, Eleanor eliminated 12 of the company’s positions, most of which were considered essential to the operation.

“We tried everything we could think of to get them back,” says Sanford, “but Eleanor wouldn’t let us.”

More than 1600 other US businesses have faced a similar situation this year, as Eleanor has reduced their workforces by a combined 23,000 positions. 

“Sure, they complain about the random cuts,” says Eiltner, “but you never hear them thanking us for the cost savings.”  The randomness of the cuts is a small price to pay, he says. 

“People were so worried about AI deciding to destroy all of mankind,” he says.  “Compared to that this is small potatoes.”

The post New “Eleanor” A.I. Eliminates Jobs by Just Randomly Eliminating Jobs first appeared on Cubicle F.