NOW!!! (with three exclamation points) – is a new aerosol spray that has proven effective in reducing Decision Freeze. A leading cause of US business failures, the condition manifests itself when a person needs to make a quick decision but – fearing the wrong one will result in the ruination of his or her career – freezes up instead.
Developed by the Lunderplex — the researchers responsible for coining the term “pre-conceptual” — NOW!!! forces the issue by instantly unclogging the “perignogle” particles in the cerebral cortex, which are responsible for making decisions (and also for memorizing lyrics to television sitcoms).
One quick spritz is usually enough in normal situations, like when someone gets wide-eyed and starts stammering. Two or three may be required when someone freeze up so severely they aren’t able to move, like the Tin Man in “The Wizard of Oz.”
“I truly believe that NOW!!! saved my hide,” says Emma Asterson, a concepts analyst based in Cleveland. Last month she froze up three times within a week week – including once when asked whether a meeting should be held at 1:15 or 1:30 PM. As a result, she says, three different vice presidents turned around and ran when they encountered her in the hallway.
“Two weeks ago I was asked whether we should use formatted or pre-formatted variances,” she says. “One quick spritz was all it took.” She chose pre-formatted, and now when she sees the vice presidents they no longer run.
“Some day soon,”says Asterson, “I can see them actually looking at me.”
On the market just two months, it’s estimated to NOW!!! has achieved a 67 percent success rate, though there have been some side effects – such as the case of a Connecticut stock broker who was trying to determine whether to buy AT&T, but somehow ended up painting an extra stripe down a mile-long stretch of I-95.
