On July 15, every US business with more than 25 employees received a notice from Heaven strongly suggesting they stop threatening staffers with “Come to Jesus“ meetings. “Jesus is not at these meetings,” says Heaven spokesperson Julia Simpson. “It is therefore inappropriate to use His name as a means of...

Mona Lippman, a process specialist with Tovelman/Moore in Chicago, was injured last week when she was run over by the Curve.  She was the 194th American worker hurt this year - compared to 112 for all of 2015. Staying ahead of the Curve is one of the top four skill...

To protect young Corporate Americans from serious injury, the Business Expression Institute has just published Feet to the Fire!– a listing of 1355 business clichés that could prove harmful if taken literally. “Young up and comers haven't been exposed to cliches,” says BEI spokesperson Paula Solomon. "So if the boss...

After having served in her position for nearly 4,000 years, Mother Nature announced she will retire on December 31. Effective in 2026, The Workington Group/Spokane - which runs businesses ranging from nougat processors to toothbrush clip makers - will assume responsibility for wind, fire, and rain. It is still...

Des Moines formulations company Hitts-Whitmer has selected its first-ever vampire as Employee of the Month.  Marilyn Stillman, a clerk in Accounts Payable, was cited on December 2 for her “willingness to go the extra mile, especially during pre-dawn hours.” “The award is indicative of our acceptance of people from every...

Next Monday, at the Simms Museum in Cleveland, artist/repetitor Cala Moline will open the interactive exhibit FITS - featuring 1800 shoehorns that once belonged to noteworthy people. “It took us over nine years to get them all together,” says Moline, “including six months just to get 22 of Eddie Albert’s.” ...

Tri-Con/tri-con, the Ann Arbor, MI based liscropic corporation, officially confirmed this week that Assistant VP/Implications Mark Evans has what it takes. The announcement came after an analysis of Evans’ core competencies singled out his abilities to look at the big picture from 30,000 feet without getting dizzy and to recognize...

After considering the deal for over two years, an investment consortium made up of high-end bond juxtaposers decided to purchase Pandora’s Box. Upon taking delivery in October, however, the group realized that someone had already opened it. Wax/Wane Inc. won’t disclose what it paid, but it is estimated to be...

As if the past couple years haven’t already presented their share of challenges, last week the town of Massington, Illinois experienced the worst flooding it has seen in over 150 years.  On February 1, the LaPelle River rose to 40 feet over flood stage - apparently the result of...

If you’ve been on a number of job interviews and you still haven’t been hired, you might be doing something wrong - or more than one thing wrong.  According to the American Bureau of Job Placement, these are the top four mistakes that often disqualify candidates from being hired: ...

The Chief Transformation Officer at Milwaukee's Tellway-Platt was dismissed this week for not knowing that rapper Bow-Wow had dropped the prefix “Lil.’” Monica Pasterell, 51, was a 29-year veteran of the company. She referred to the star by his outdated name on October 8, when delivering a talk on transformational...

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