Business Briefs

More Michigan Municipalities Looking to Fill Town Drunk Positions

There are currently 31 Michigan municipalities looking to fill the position of town drunk, up from 22 just a year ago. "Many of them are...

The Workplace

A.I. Will Take Over Another Daily Task With the Launch of PoopGPT

Over the past few years, American workplaces have come to rely on artificial intelligence to write documents, make phone calls, select salad dressings in...

Start-Ups & Technology

Detroit Urban Farm Growing Doughnut Sprinkles for Artisan Shops

Since urban farms took hold in Detroit around 15 years ago, most have focused on growing crops for the health-conscious – sprouts, kale, chard,...

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The Accounts Payable Song

Cubicle F staffers Maria Safi, Mike N. Kelly and Christy Edwards rehearse a new musical number on a street piano outside "The Cube" - one of the many Downtown Detroit buildings owned by Dan Gilbert, and one of three that had pianos outside while the weather was warm. This song's...

After Six Year Evaluation, CEO Agrees to Sludge Bath Challenge

After a six-year evaluation, a task force at Houston's Falco Financial has conditionally recommended that CEO Marianne Willikin participate in the GDS Sludge Bath - where participants spend ten minutes fully clothed in a tub full of sludge to raise awareness for Gatson-Drake Syndrome.     “We consider it an...

CEO Announces Precedent

Bucking a growing trend among companies that fear setting precedents for legal, financial and philosophical reasons, Tanbury International announced this week that it has tentatively set one. CEO Marcia Wormley declined to identify the precedent, other than to say it is “precedent-setting.” “We invested significant resources and researched the issue for...

From Siphoning Gas to Confiscating Shoes, What the IRS Can and Can’t Do

With Americans preparing to file their federal income taxes, the watchdog group The WatchDog Group has issued its annual reminder about things the Internal Revenue Service CAN and CANNOT do in the event a return is called into question: It CAN move up to three auditors into your home...

Portland Retailer Achieves Goal of Longest Checkout Line in History

On December 19, Portland department store Fillner’s achieved a goal it had sought for 50 years: The longest checkout line ever recorded - over 1.2 miles, with an average customer wait time of 7.5 days. Just a year earlier, the line was three blocks long and the wait only...

New Phone App Inserts Bad Things into Competitors’ Resumes

While there are currently 12,342 iPhone apps that allow you to continually update your own resume – anything from a job change to the strategic addition of the latest buzzwords like “petrepreneur” – UpperHand enables you to update the resumes of your competitors. Developed by Babson/Babson – which up until...

Analyst Types Same Sentence Over 16 Million Times to Appear Busy

William Harris, 56, a post systems analyst at Cleveland's Palmer-Inge, was dismissed this week when it was discovered he had done absolutely nothing since being hired 13 years ago – despite always typing frantically at his computer for an average of 12 hours a day. The situation came to light...

Wisconsin CEO Sued After Appropriating Staffer’s Signature Greeting for Himself

A popular employee at Milwaukee’s Lamernoy Genistics is taking its CEO to court over the right to keep using a friendly greeting he says he invented and has been using for over 20 years.   Says analyst Max Torrey:  “I go up to people, put one hand on their left...

Not Allowed in Their Workplaces, Office Gangs Create Mayhem Across the USA

While the problem of street gangs is well documented, a newer concern is the trouble being caused by office gangs, whose numbers have increased dramatically since the start of the pandemic. According the US Bureau of Documented Statistics, there are more than 120,000 such gangs in the US, mostly...

How Do I Get Colleagues To Start Calling me “Butch?”

Q) I’m an accruals reversals specialist at a major manufacturer and I think my colleagues are walking all over me, to put it mildly. They set their coffee cups on my desk, leaving rings. They leave Little Debbie snack wrappers lying around, expecting me to clean them up. More...

Ad Agency Criticized for Putting Employees in Boxes

Alice McMahon dreamed about working for Sims Walters. After all, this was the ad agency known for its creative genius – the people behind Curt the Carpet Cleaning Cat and the First City Bank “We Took Your Money” campaign. So she was thrilled when, fresh out of Wayne State University,...

Men React as Women Earn More

Mens advocacy groups reacted strongly yesterday to a study finding that higher pay for women has caused an epidemic of erectile dysfunction in the nation's bedrooms, with some insisting that a law mandating pay cuts for women is the only practical response to the growing public health crisis. The Washington...