Business Briefs

A.I. Will Take Over Another Daily Task With the Launch of PoopGPT

Over the past few years, American workplaces have come to rely on artificial intelligence to write documents, make phone calls, select salad dressings in...

The Workplace

Pocket Amplifier Guarantees Every “A-Ha!” Moment” is Heard Loud and Clear

In order to advance, business people must demonstrate regular “A-Ha! Moments" – defined as “suddenly coming to a conclusion and shouting ‘A-Ha!’” With at...

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Despite Being Told There Was No Need, Banker Re-Invents the Wheel Anyhow

Ignoring what her superiors considered a pretty clear directive, Sheila Cosgrove, a conformities specialist at Denver’s Pomeroy Trust, re-invented the wheel last Thursday. “We were asking that she conduct a standard Melson pre-analysis,” says Cosgrove’s boss, VP/Strategies Tamara Lansing. “We reminded her five times that it was pro-forma, needed to...

Kicked Out for Being Sad During “Happy Hour,” Auditor Sues Bar

A downtown Columbus, Ohio, bar is being sued for $10 million by an auditor who says she was asked to leave it on January 9, 2023. The reason? She was sad during happy hour. “I’d messed up the transactionals report, gotten a reprimand, and needed a drink,” says Mary Jo...

As Performing Opportunities Decline, Mimes Being Hired for Regular Jobs

With Covid meaning fewer crowds on street corners to perform for, mimes across the US are turning to other means of making a living – taking jobs at advertising agencies, financial houses, and other businesses.  The number of mimes in the corporate workforce has increased from 156 in 2019...

Workers Fired For Unwittingly Using Banned Expressions

On  March 5, Minna Rawlins, Finance Director of New York City’s Billings/Watts, emailed a staffer thanking him for his “fastidious” attention to detail. She was dismissed an hour later, but claimed she was never informed the word “fastidious” had become offensive. In a Zoom meeting a week later, Alternatives VP...

New Coach Needs Advice Quick!

Q) I just got a new job as head coach of the Detroit Lions. Any suggestions on how to get off on the right foot? A) All you need to do is come up with a foolproof plan to fulfill the hopes and dreams of millions. Here are a few...
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Career Pill May Cause Drowsiness, Inability to Step Up to the Plate

Not getting invitations to join task forces? Nobody’s sharing key initiatives? CareerTrax will jump-start your career today! The oral performance enhancement medication is available over the counter at most leading pharmacies. See the disclaimer about possible side effects.

No Longer Just Criminals, Henchmen Now Play Key Roles in US Businesses

As recently as 2018, few respectable people would have considered embarking on a career as a henchman.    “One always thought of a henchman as someone engaged in wrongdoing,” says Lauran Swandell, CEO of Shotburn Financial in Bismarck, SD.  “Someone who reported to a questionable higher-up, carried a gun, maybe...

Incompetence-Sniffing Dogs Help Companies Improve Bottom Line

To ensure all employees are contributing their fair share, many businesses are utilizing incompetence-sniffing dogs to identify those not making the grade.   “Some breeds possess an innate ability to sniff out incompetence,” says Mel Tramell, CEO of ScentsAbility, which deploys trained terriers, shepherds, and poodles at over 200 US...

Popular “Ed Watson” Face Masks Were Not Authorized by Ed Watson

Of all the novelty protective face masks selling across the USA, none have been more popular in the workplace than the “Ed Watson” full-face model. Since April, Spokane manufacturer Compish-Platt has sold over 22 million of the cloth coverings depicting the face of        Ed Watson, a...

Notary Public Group Threatens Chaos Over Election Results

The political action group Notary Publics for Freedom says it will cause massive disruption if it is not satisfied with the outcome of next Tuesday’s presidential election. “Suffice it to say that the country will be plunged into a crisis like it has never known,” says group president Monica Pillington....
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What to Say to Get the Job

While qualifications, skill sets and core competencies are essential, what you say when you shake the boss's hand can really seal the deal.

In Lieu of Raises, Agency Allows Tip Jars on its Employees’ Desks

While foregoing salary increases for the seventh straight year, Detroit ad agency Sommers-Worth is taking steps to ensure all employees are adequately compensated. As of January 1, the company's executive committee authorized the purchase of tip jars for all staff members to place on their desks, or elsewhere in...