Business Briefs

Fed Up With an Underperforming Staff, Ohio Firm Imposes Sanctions

In January 2023, having overcome pandemic-related terciary obstacles, Toledo retrograde specialists James/Hatton achieved an all-time high stock price of $134.44 per share.   As of...

The Workplace

A.I. Will Take Over Another Daily Task With the Launch of PoopGPT

Over the past few years, American workplaces have come to rely on artificial intelligence to write documents, make phone calls, select salad dressings in...

Start-Ups & Technology

New App Helps Butt Kissers Kiss Butt Better

GetAheadNow! has introduced a new smart phone application that helps ambitious employees more effectively manage their butt-kissing strategies. The BootLicker™ app helps organize, categorize...

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We Want Your Workplace Story!

Synergies not synchronized? Freeze up during a spontaneous brainstorming session? Everyone has a workplace story. Send us yours at info@cubiclef.com. If we use it, we’ll send you a $10 coffee card.

Incompetence-Sniffing Dogs Help Companies Improve Bottom Line

To ensure all employees are contributing their fair share, many businesses are utilizing incompetence-sniffing dogs to identify those not making the grade.   “Some breeds possess an innate ability to sniff out incompetence,” says Mel Tramell, CEO of ScentsAbility, which deploys trained terriers, shepherds, and poodles at over 200 US...

Cubicle F Predicts: Some 2014 Business Stories

We take a look at a few stories that may or may not happen this year - from the Michigan Central Station to the D.I.A. Quicken Loans Chairman Dan Gilbert purchases his 100th building in Detroit – Stanley Freeman’s Barber Shop on Oakland Ave. Mr. Freeman stays on as...
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Tattling on the Team!

Employees receive a gift card for reporting colleagues who don't use the word "team."

Employees Files Lawsuit Over Mandatory Whoopee Cushion

A Fraser woman is suing propeller-maker Norco, claiming she was wrongly dismissed because a company-assigned joke made a co-worker seriously ill. To boost morale, Norco holds a monthly “Fun Friday” in which ten employees are assigned to employ novelty items on their colleagues –dribble glasses, joy buzzers, etc. ...
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Execu-tether Jolts Wayward Managers Back to the Office

The new Execu-tether allows an executive to summon key managers back to the office whenever they're needed, simply by administering an ever-increasing electric jolt.
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The Office Affair Seminar

In order to conduct a romantic affair in the office, couples must apply in advance and attend a mandatory training seminar conducted by Employee Maximization.

Executives Go Back to the Drawing Board, Find it Has Been Thrown Out

Monica Masterson, of Boulder, Colorado's Piltdown Group, broke through the glass ceiling on February 22 -  the first woman in the transactionals company’s 45-year history to do so.  During the process, however, she suffered some skull lacerations and a slight concussion, which rendered her unable to assume her new job...

Another Lost Novel by Harper Lee to be Published in July

Twelve years after the publication of Harper Lee’s long lost, Go Set a Watchman, a third book by the late author will be released this summer. The manuscript of Spilt Then the Julep had been in the possession of Mobile, Alabama gas station attendant Trace Filbin since August of 1971....

Top Skillsets of the Future: #22, Managing Postponement

In today’s cautious environment, it is rare that anything is actually brought to completion. The average decision today involves 42 people and takes 12 days and 17 hours – up an average of 52,000% since 1990. On the average, meetings and deadlines are postponed 77 percent of the time -...

Whether You’re Glucose Intolerant and Other Things Ex-Bosses Can’t Reveal

Whether you leave a job on your own or against your will, it’s likely that a potential new employer will contact your former company to get some information about you.   “Too many people think a company can say what it wants,” says Dr. Ramona Collins of the Kansinton Institute. ...
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“Just Another Pomegranate” Will be Fifth Fruit-Based Corporate Saying

The fifth officially sanctioned fruit-based corporate expression will be inaugurated on December 1, after a two year development process by the additions committee of the US Bureau of Sayings and Bromides. “Just another pomegranate” will join “Turning lemons into lemonade”(1972),  “Comparing apples to apples” (1987), “Comparing apples to oranges” (1996)...