Not even two years after the adultery website Ashley Madison was hacked and its client’s names made public, the same fate has befallen the Dolly Madison company, makers of various dessert products.
Dessert-eating habits of over 17 million users are about to be made public. People who’ve been lying to their bosses and families about their healthy eating habits will now have to account for all the snack cakes, fruit pies and Zingers (three to a pack, chocolate or strawberry) they’ve been consuming.
“You can’t imagine the shame,” says one client, speaking anonymously. “I dread facing my colleagues tomorrow after telling them I quit six years ago.”
“I’ve been telling my wife it’s a glandular problem,” says another user who tips the scales at 448 pounds.
It’s rumored that the client lists include corporate CEOs, a US congressperson, and the leader of a health food conglomerate that eschews all sugar-related products. A major concern is that some of these high-rankers will fall victim to bribery schemes.
“We are taking steps to find out what happened,” says a Dolly Madison spokesperson, who declined to elaborate other than to say there would be at least 17 steps.
