Business Briefs

Business Briefs

FBI: Ad Exec Took Bribe to Throw Pitch to Potential Client

 A Cleveland advertising executive is behind bars this week,...
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Business Briefs

Walking Dead Insurance Actuaries Invade Pennsylvania City

Three weeks ago, insurance actuary Anita Mizon, who had...
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Business Briefs

Clumpps Gas Comes to Iowa Despite Concerns about Noise and Prostitution

Virginia based Clumpps Gas - known for the wide...
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Business Briefs

300-Member Logo Committee Adds Colon, De-Capitalizes Name

After meeting regularly since February of 2021 and spending...
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Business Briefs

Companies Fight Over Who Gets to Help Poor Family

Two Dunthorpe, Oregon companies are battling in court over which gets to support a local underprivileged family. Both the Malcolm Group and Herner-Lents claim rights to the Millingtons. “We approached...
Business Briefs

Utilizing the “Penny Tray” Strategy to Meet Budget Goals

January 2022 was a grim time at Santa Fe's Silver & Post.  For the first time in the company's 105-year history, it was going to miss achieving its monthly financial...
Business Briefs

Chain to Launch Self-Eating Pizza in 2026

After nearly five years of research and testing, pizza chain Markko’s will introduce a self-eating pizza in March of 2026.  The product is targeted to today’s busy consumers who...
Business Briefs

Tired of Continually Being Eliminated, Middleman Embarks on New Career

After 40 years and thousands of businesses hellbent on getting rid of him, the Middleman has finally thrown in the towel. On May 1, he enrolled in Midwest Barber...
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Mother Nature to Retire, Spokane Conglomerate Will Assume Her Responsibilities

After having served in her position for nearly 4,000 years, Mother Nature announced she will retire on December 31. Effective in 2026, The Workington Group/Spokane - which runs businesses...
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More Michigan Municipalities Looking to Fill Town Drunk Positions

There are 31 municipalities looking to fill the position of Town Drunk, up from 22 just a year ago. "Many of them are moving onto other jobs," says Jill Timrod...
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Leftover “Clap On!” Motors Discovered in Heart Pacemakers

The consumer watchdog group Consumer Watchdog issued a warning this week against purchasing heart pacemakers made by Tapson-Wise of Milwaukee. Rather than being equipped with standard pacemaker motors, the group...
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Politically Correct Service Dogs Prevent Career Ending Faux “Paws”

Over 30,0000 American business people currently employ service dogs to stop them from saying things that could destroy their careers. One of them is Tina Lorris, an insurance adjuster...
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As Risks in Illegal Trade Increase, Smugglers Turn to Toasters and Other Legal Merchandise

Over the past 20 years, jail terms for those caught smuggling drugs, fireworks, and other illegal items have increased by 45.6 percent.  As a result, more smugglers are now...
Business Briefs

After Six Year Evaluation, CEO Agrees to Sludge Bath Challenge

A task force at Houston's Falco Financial, first organized in 2018, has conditionally recommended that CEO Marianne Willikin participate in the GDS Sludge Bath, where participants spend ten minutes...
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In 2023: Corporate Dysfunction Meds Outsell Little Blue Pill for First Time

In 2023, for the first time, sales of the little blue pill that helps remedy sexual difficulties were surpassed by the little yellow pill that does the same for...
Business Briefs

Increased Competition Among Ransomware Attackers Means Bargains for Businesses

As recently as three years ago, businesses whose data was being held hostage by ransomware attackers could expect to pay upwards of $10 million to retrieve their files unencrypted,...
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