Business Briefs

Business Briefs

Drone Company Promises to Make Piano Delivery Safer

In response to criticism that its drone piano delivery...
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Business Briefs

A.I. Will Take Over Another Daily Task With the Launch of PoopGPT

Over the past few years, American workplaces have come...
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Business Briefs

More Michigan Municipalities Looking to Fill Town Drunk Positions

There are currently 31 Michigan municipalities looking to fill...
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Business Briefs

Executive Entourages Have Shrunk by Average of 66 percent Since 2018

In 2018, the top five executives at major US...
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Business Briefs

Chain to Launch Self-Eating Pizza in 2026

After nearly five years of research and testing, pizza chain Markko’s will introduce a self-eating pizza in March of 2026.  The product is targeted to today’s busy consumers who...
Business Briefs

Tired of Continually Being Eliminated, Middleman Embarks on New Career

After 40 years and thousands of businesses hellbent on getting rid of him, the Middleman has finally thrown in the towel. On May 1, he enrolled in Midwest Barber...
Business Briefs

Mother Nature to Retire, Spokane Conglomerate Will Assume Her Responsibilities

After having served in her position for nearly 4,000 years, Mother Nature announced she will retire on December 31. Effective in 2026, The Workington Group/Spokane - which runs businesses...
Business Briefs

Leftover “Clap On!” Motors Discovered in Heart Pacemakers

The consumer watchdog group Consumer Watchdog issued a warning this week against purchasing heart pacemakers made by Tapson-Wise of Milwaukee. Rather than being equipped with standard pacemaker motors, the group...
Business Briefs

Contingency Director Claims His Demotion Was Because His Wife Called Him “Bunny”

Until February, Leo Sitlin was a rising contingency manager at Cleveland financial house Holloway-Sills.  A favorite among the company’s clients, he often served as host at charity events, ballgames...
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Communications Director Fired For Not Using “Robust” in Press Release

Gena McPherson, who had been the PR and communications manager at Minneapolis-based Calfalex for 12 years, was relieved of her duties last week due to a glaring omission in...
Business Briefs

Software Employs Electric Shocks to Reduce Use of Email Smiley Faces

Over the past five years, US workers have increased their use of smiley face emoji in emails and other correspondence by 2000 percent – from an average of six...
Business Briefs

As Risks in Illegal Trade Increase, Smugglers Turn to Toasters and Other Legal Merchandise

Over the past 20 years, jail terms for those caught smuggling drugs, fireworks, and other illegal items have increased by 45.6 percent.  As a result, more smugglers are now...
Business Briefs

After Six Year Evaluation, CEO Agrees to Sludge Bath Challenge

After a six-year evaluation, a task force at Houston's Falco Financial has conditionally recommended that CEO Marianne Willikin participate in the GDS Sludge Bath - where participants spend ten...
Business Briefs

Corporate Dysfunction Meds Outselling the Little Blue Pill

In 2024, sales of the little blue pill that helps remedy sexual difficulties were surpassed by those of the little yellow pill that does the same for corporate dysfunction. “As...
Business Briefs

Competition Among Ransomware Hijackers Results in Big Bargains

As recently as three years ago, businesses whose data was being held hostage by ransomware attackers could expect to pay upwards of $10 million to retrieve their files unencrypted,...
Business Briefs

Unable to Find Qualified Staff, Utah Firm Adopts All-Employeeless Model

In 2019, when Masters Customization set out to hire a new employee, one human resources staffer could make it happen in less than an hour. As of mid 2024,...
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Phone App SSSSssss Closes on $55 Million in VC Funding

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Ingredients-Free Menu Makes for Healthier Dining Experience

When it opened three years ago - at a time when many were still concerned about Covid-19 - the new Montie's in Midtown Detroit...

Yanking off the Tablecloth: A Sure-Fire Way to Impress the Boss

In this age of corporate competitiveness, 93 percent of up and comers are continually seeking new and innovative ways to get noticed by the...

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With every businessperson in America now using email - with the exception of Steve Remson, a grain analyst from Ohio who claims nobody told...

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Lavastoviglie – that’s Italian for “Dishwasher” – is Jim Parks' third Detroit restaurant, following Peaceful Cheese and Shove It.  It opened two weeks ago,...

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