Business Briefs

Business Briefs

No Longer Just Criminals, Henchmen Now Play Key Roles in US Businesses

As recently as 2018, few respectable people would have...
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Business Briefs

Communications Director Fired For Not Using “Robust” in Press Release

Gena McPherson, who had been the PR and communications...
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Business Briefs

More Michigan Municipalities Looking to Fill Town Drunk Positions

There are currently 31 Michigan municipalities looking to fill...
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Business Briefs

Contingency Director Claims His Demotion Was Because His Wife Called Him “Bunny”

Until February, Leo Sitlin was a rising contingency manager...
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Business Briefs

Annual Running of Insurance Agents Cancelled Due to Covid

The annual Running of the Insurance Agents has been cancelled for 2020, according to organizer Minnie Exton. Since its founding in 1956, thousands of runners have descended upon the town...
Business Briefs

Company Goes Back to Drawing Board, Discovers Custodian Has Thrown it Out

After spending two years and 82,000 meeting hours trying to develop a new formulation platform, Cleveland techno-aggregator Quality 1.1 found itself hopelessly mired between two strategies:  Advancing pre-productive platforms...
Business Briefs

Ohio Company Sells Movie Rights to 982-Hour Task Force Meeting

Brainstorm This! - a movie based on a legendary 982-hour task force meeting at Cleveland's Minsick Bolts - will begin filming in that city next summer. The longest task...
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Portland Retailer Achieves Goal of Longest Checkout Line in History

On December 19, Portland department store Fillner’s achieved a goal it had sought for 50 years: The longest checkout line ever recorded - over 1.2 miles, with an average...
Business Briefs

Thumbtack Festival Returns to Detroit Maker Space

For the third year, thumbtack makers from across the US will gather at Detroit’s MakerSpace maker space to show off their handiwork at the second annual Thumtackular!!! festival. “We expect...
Business Briefs

Exec Fired for Not Knowing Lil’ Bow Wow is Now Just Plain Bow Wow

The Chief Transformation Officer at Milwaukee's Tellway-Platt was dismissed this week for not knowing that rapper Bow-Wow had dropped the prefix “Lil.’” Monica Pasterell, 51, was a 29-year veteran of...
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Incompetence-Sniffing Dogs Help Companies Improve Bottom Line

To ensure all employees are contributing their fair share, many businesses are utilizing incompetence-sniffing dogs to identify those not making the grade.   “Some breeds possess an innate ability to...
Business Briefs

Norton Utilities Save Universe From Annihilation

A number of media outlets are reporting that the Universe nearly came to an abrupt end on July 10. It was saved at the last minute by the quick thinking of...
Business Briefs

Police Shut Down Fight Ring Involving Civil Engineers

Over 40 people were arrested in Wyandotte, Michigan last Saturday in connection with a fight operation pitting two civil engineers against each other. According to city police spokeswoman Celia Minsle,...
Business Briefs

From the Rank and File to the Powers That Be: Five CPA Advancement Levels

In 2014 - to eliminate chaos, confusion, and long lines in the cafeterias - CPA firms across the US standardized employee advancement levels. At any time during their careers,...
Business Briefs

Company’s Stock Falls as CEO Photographed Wearing Only One Hat

The stock price of Fresno, California-based Melipropinol2 fell 45 percent after photos of CEO Marlene Timrod, wearing only one hat, were posted across social media yesterday. “A company is doomed...

MooseSkunk Closes Brick & Mortar Store: Bricks Sold, Mortar Didn’t

After a planning and implementation process that took over three years and involved over 130 focus groups, MooseSkunk announced that it is closing its Midtown Detroit brick and mortar...
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In response to criticism that its drone piano delivery has caused serious injuries to 111 bystanders when the drones dropped the piano, Milwaukee's DropDOWN...

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Most consider the alligator to be a vicious and deadly animal. And in a sense they are right, given that alligators are prone to...

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