Business Briefs

Business Briefs

Leftover “Clap On!” Motors Discovered in Heart Pacemakers

The consumer watchdog group Consumer Watchdog issued a warning...
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Business Briefs

Politically Correct Service Dogs Prevent Career Ending Faux “Paws”

Over 30,0000 American business people currently employ service dogs...
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Business Briefs

More Michigan Municipalities Looking to Fill Town Drunk Positions

There are 31 municipalities looking to fill the position...
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Business Briefs

Whether You’re Gluten Free and Other Things Former Employers Can and Can’t Reveal

Whether you leave a job on your own or...
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Business Briefs

Company Lays off 97% of Staff Due to Misplaced Decimal

A simple typo has led to record earnings for Nortown Techniques. It began with this January 3 memo from CEO Jerry Widleman to VP/Human Resources Marilyn Nils: To provide a more...
Business Briefs

North Pole: Fed Ex Will Take Over Christmas Delivery Starting in 2017

The North Pole announced Friday that Federal Express will take over Christmas Eve gift delivery starting in 2017. “We understand about Santa Claus, the tradition and all that,” says North...
Business Briefs

Another Madison Site Hacked; This Time It’s Dolly’s

Not even two years after the adultery website Ashley Madison was hacked and its client’s names made public, the same fate has befallen the Dolly Madison company, makers of...
Business Briefs

Pizza Corp Wins Right to Adopt

Now that the U.S. Supreme Court has granted First Amendment religious freedom to the Hobby Lobby Corporation - validating the principle that “corporations are people too'” - many court...
Business Briefs

SUCCESS! Employees Celebrate Raising Funds to Give CEO 20% Raise

With big companies continually looking to increase shareholder profits, it’s becoming harder to fund annual raises for CEOs. Thus, many companies are turning to rank-and-file employees for help. At Priticom,...

Transistor Radio Maker Steps Up Marketing to Millennials

Torvald-Collinger, the world’s largest manufacturer of transistor radios, is launching a new marketing campaign aimed at the Millennial generation. The company hopes to reverse a sales decline that has...
Business Briefs

Trump Plans to Abolish Tornadoes; Home Rehab Industry Nervous

When he first mentioned it a couple months ago, it was lumped in with other campaign promises: “We’re going to build a wall, we’re going to get rid of...
Business Briefs

No Enemies? Forget About Finding That Dream Job…

While being a “team player” and “consensus builder,” is essential, just as vital to success is having enemies - at least according to one of the USA’s most listened-to...
Business Briefs

Like Bow-Wow, Pastry Icon to be Just “Debbie”?

Perhaps following the lead of rappers Lil’ Bow Wow and Lil’ Romeo, both of whom have dropped the Lil', it is rumored that pastry icon Little Debbie will become...
Business Briefs

A Stricter Kind of Coffee House

Rosary Beans Coffee House will open a store in the lobby of the new H#sht#g Building near Foxtown. The brainchild of Sister Mary Hammer of the Louisiana-based Sisters of Divine...
Business Briefs

FBI: Ad Exec Took Bribe to Throw Pitch to Potential Client

 A Cleveland advertising executive is behind bars this week, after allegedly throwing an account pitch to a potential big client. Vice President Joe Pillster was leading the presentation for his...
Business Briefs

Street Patrols Prevent Violations of Corporate “Isms”

To anyone wondering why so many Rock Financial cars are on patrol in Downtown Detroit: It's not to ward off muggers. Rather, it's to ensure compliance with the 19...
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Popular Headlines

Tired of Continually Being Eliminated, Middleman Embarks on New Career

After 40 years and thousands of businesses hellbent on getting rid of him, the Middleman has finally thrown in the towel. On May 1,...

Chain to Launch Self-Eating Pizza in 2026

After nearly five years of research and testing, pizza chain Markko’s will introduce a self-eating pizza in March of 2026.  The product is targeted...

Utilizing the “Penny Tray” Strategy to Meet Budget Goals

January 2022 was a grim time at Santa Fe's Silver & Post.  For the first time in the company's 105-year history, it was going to...

Strenuous “Ah-Ha Moments” Taking Toll on Older Workers

A 63 year-old Troy, Michigan marketing manager was in stable condition at a local hospital Tuesday following an A-Ha! Moment Collapse (AHMC) at his...

Walking Insurance Actuaries Invade Pennsylvania City

Three weeks ago, insurance actuary Anita Mizon, who had died in 2015 of digestive issues, emerged from her grave and began wandering, disheveled and...

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