Business Briefs

Business Briefs

No Longer Just Criminals, Henchmen Now Play Key Roles in US Businesses

As recently as 2018, few respectable people would have...
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Business Briefs

Communications Director Fired For Not Using “Robust” in Press Release

Gena McPherson, who had been the PR and communications...
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Business Briefs

More Michigan Municipalities Looking to Fill Town Drunk Positions

There are currently 31 Michigan municipalities looking to fill...
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Business Briefs

Contingency Director Claims His Demotion Was Because His Wife Called Him “Bunny”

Until February, Leo Sitlin was a rising contingency manager...
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Business Briefs

Business Names First Vampire Employee of the Month

Des Moines formulations company Hitts-Whitmer has selected its first-ever vampire as Employee of the Month.  Marilyn Stillman, a clerk in Accounts Payable, was cited on December 2 for her...

Before Buying “Blowin’ in the Wind,” Publisher Wants to Know How Many Roads Must a Man Walk Down, Etc.

Destiny45, the Detroit music publisher, is negotiating to purchase the rights to Bob Dylan’s “Blowin’ in the Wind.” Before the deal can be finalized, however, the company insists it...
Business Briefs

Company Lays off 97% of Staff Due to Misplaced Decimal

A simple typo has led to record earnings for Nortown Techniques. It began with this January 3 memo from CEO Jerry Widleman to VP/Human Resources Marilyn Nils: To provide a more...
Business Briefs

North Pole: Fed Ex Will Take Over Christmas Delivery Starting in 2017

The North Pole announced Friday that Federal Express will take over Christmas Eve gift delivery starting in 2017. “We understand about Santa Claus, the tradition and all that,” says North...
Business Briefs

Another Madison Site Hacked; This Time It’s Dolly’s

Not even two years after the adultery website Ashley Madison was hacked and its client’s names made public, the same fate has befallen the Dolly Madison company, makers of...
Business Briefs

Pizza Corp Wins Right to Adopt

Now that the U.S. Supreme Court has granted First Amendment religious freedom to the Hobby Lobby Corporation - validating the principle that “corporations are people too'” - many court...

Transistor Radio Maker Steps Up Marketing to Millennials

Torvald-Collinger, the world’s largest manufacturer of transistor radios, is launching a new marketing campaign aimed at the Millennial generation. The company hopes to reverse a sales decline that has...
Business Briefs

Trump Plans to Abolish Tornadoes; Home Rehab Industry Nervous

When he first mentioned it a couple months ago, it was lumped in with other campaign promises: “We’re going to build a wall, we’re going to get rid of...
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Like Bow-Wow, Pastry Icon to be Just “Debbie”?

Perhaps following the lead of rappers Lil’ Bow Wow and Lil’ Romeo, both of whom have dropped the Lil', it is rumored that pastry icon Little Debbie will become...
Business Briefs

A Stricter Kind of Coffee House

Rosary Beans Coffee House will open a store in the lobby of the new H#sht#g Building near Foxtown. The brainchild of Sister Mary Hammer of the Louisiana-based Sisters of Divine...
Business Briefs

Street Patrols Prevent Violations of Corporate “Isms”

To anyone wondering why so many Rock Financial cars are on patrol in Downtown Detroit: It's not to ward off muggers. Rather, it's to ensure compliance with the 19...
Business Briefs

Servers Asked to Specify What When Telling Customers to “Enjoy”

The Association of Waitstaff Etiquette is recommending that restaurant waitpersons discontinue the custom of offering diners an open-ended “Enjoy!” – and that they start specifying: “Enjoy your Chablis!” “Enjoy...
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