SSSSssss founder and CEO Jennifer Spitzlin says her group had originally sought $75 million, but will make due with what they’re getting.

“It may limit the number of cities we can launch in,” she says, “but we have to acknowledge that there are more service apps than ever competing for available VC dollars.”

Though SSSSssss has not earned any revenue to date, Spitzlin expects it will begin netting at least $18,000 annually as soon as 2027.

“Our research shows that the number of people per 250,000 who want to have someone’s tires flattened will increase between 13 to 18 percent over the next ten years,” she says. “And the number of people willing to flatten them will increase at a rate that’s slightly higher.”

Ted Markowits, CEO of the Millsap’s, says he has great faith in Spitzlin and her team:  “They saw a growing need, developed a solution, and thanks to them nobody should ever again have to personally flatten someone else’s tire unless they truly want to.”

The post Phone App SSSSssss Closes on $55 Million in VC Funding first appeared on Cubicle F.

“Our first three months in business we averaged 12 customers a night,” says eatery owner Tammy Brents. “Today that number is over 14.”  She believes the increase is because more and more diners are becoming wary of ingredients.

“When people gain weight or feel nauseous after eating, it’s almost always attributable to the ingredients in their food,” she says. “By preparing our meals entirely without ingredients we eliminate these risks and keep our customers healthy.”

Says one customer, Lena Dillman of Ann Arbor:  “At last I’ve found a guilt-free dining experience.”  The 37 year-old habitat analyst has eaten at Montie’s six times since it opened, and says she’s lost nearly two pounds.   “I also have an easier time remembering song lyrics,” she says, “especially ones by the Beach Boys.”

Other Detroit restaurants have been offering limited ingredients-free fare since the early 2010s, but Montie’s is the first to devote its entire menu to the format – including house specialties like ingredients-free pasta primavera and ingredients-free double Dutch chocolate cake.

“We believe that today’s diner is looking for atmosphere, presentation and healthfulness,” Brent says. “Whether or not their food has ingredients is really secondary.”

The post Ingredients-Free Menu Makes for Healthier Dining Experience first appeared on Cubicle F.

Parks attributes this to the restaurant’s “focused conversation.”  Each day a list of three topics is posted at the host stand. Patrons are required to limit their discussion to one of the three, or to any combination.

“Disjointed, disorganized chatter can quickly kill a new establishment,” says Parks. “When high-end diners hear people at another table blathering on about their first grader’s art project or their teacup poodles, they walk out and never come back.”

The conversation is curated by Helen Wortman, who performed a similar role at the six-star Astonish in Manhattan.  Topics are changed daily, and last Wednesday included:

• Are you really the you you want to be?
• The crabcake revolution and what it means to the end-user
• Why does Bernie Sanders so rarely close his eyes?

And what if people don’t stick to the approved topics?

“We don’t allow that to happen,” says Parks, noting that the waitstaff is continually monitoring table talk. Diners not in compliance are given two warnings. “The third time,” he says, “we politely ask them to finish their meal in silence.”

It’s best to call ahead for reservations – and also a schedule of topics, since advance preparation is highly recommended.

The post Diners at New Eatery Must Stick to Approved Conversation Topics first appeared on Cubicle F.

“We knew people wanted a place where all they could get was water,” says owner Jan Natinsky-Kickenen, who also runs Strong, the all-spinach restaurant a few blocks away.   “Other places claimed to be all water, but they hedged their bets with candy corn, apple slices, pimentos…”

At H2Only the only thing available is tap water – served 42 different ways, with each different cocktail named after a Detroit street. 

Water cocktails have grown in popularity the past five years, and many culinary schools – including Sorbonnic in Newport, RI – are offering minor degrees in the art.  One of the first to earn one is Pete, who hired into H2Only right after graduation.

A non-tall man with small round glasses who won’t give his last name, Pete stands behind the glass serving counter slowly pouring water from a small glass beaker into a larger one, his furrowed brow making it clear he’s doing important work.  So important that he can’t be bothered to talk.

“He’s making a 34th Street,” says Natinski Kickenen on his behalf.  “The water in the big beaker is 112 degrees, the smaller one is 58.”   She says it can take up to 30 minutes to make one of the water cocktails.  “If you’re in a hurry this isn’t the place for you,” she says.

Looking around the 64-seat room – walls painted pink and adorned with pictures of swimming fish that look annoyed – there are over 30 singles and couples enjoying various combinations of water

Courtesy of Natinski Kickenen, here’s the recipe for the 34th Street

Ingredients:  1 cup of water; 1 one-ounce glass of water; 1 seven-inch beaker of water; 1 empty drinking glass; eye-dropper.

Instructions:  Heat cup of water over single flame to 103 degrees; Pour half of cup into drinking glass; Allow other half to heat to 115 degrees, then fall to 98 degrees; Using eye dropper, place six drops from second half cup into drinking glass; Stir clockwise 10 seconds; Stir counter clockwise 18 seconds; Shake 3-inch beaker for 60 seconds, pour into drinking glass; Using eye dropper, place 11 drops from second half cup into drinking glass; DISPOSE IMMEDIATELY of unused half cup of water; Allow drinking glass to sit for 2 minutes, 20 seconds; Serve.

The post At H2Only: Half Hour Wait for All-Water Drinks Worth Every Second first appeared on Cubicle F.

“If you have to have brain surgery, where’s a better place than in the comfort of your own home?” says Sandy McClain, CEO of app developers XBam2. “Especially when it’ll only cost you $350!” This includes a $50 “Happy Recovery” gift certificate redeemable at 15 national restaurant chains.

Cortex works just like any other shared economy service: If you want to order brain surgery, you plug in the pertinent info – age, gender, type of surgery – and a Cortex rep will arrive at your home within 20 minutes, equipped with the necessary tools.

XBam2 began testing the app on last March in two markets – Newark, Ohio and Benton Harbor, Michigan. “On the average, we’re in and out in under an hour,” says McCain, who first gained notice in 2018 for the BlimK app that categorizes raisins 1,100 ways.

Not surprisingly, Cortex has drawn criticism from the Associated Institution of Neurosurgeons.

“My major complaint is that these people haven’t gone to medical school,” says the group’s president, Dr. Steven Durning. “So can you really trust them to operate on your brain?”

McClain dismisses such criticism.  She says Cortex’s success rate is 87 percent – expected to hit 93 upon expansion into 500 more markets in January 2025 – and that a high school diploma makes a person more than qualified to perform in-home brain surgery.

“After all,” she says, “it’s not rocket science.”

The post New Phone App Disrupts Neurosurgery Industry by Offering In-Home Operations first appeared on Cubicle F.

“We’re up to 33 cubes a week,” says founder Larry Petrangelo. “With just three makers, we can’t make more and guarentee quality.” The three – who also include former airline executive Madeline Fare and part-time tree trimmer Tricia Northman – spend up to six hours producing a single cube. Prices start at $80 apiece.

Each cube is made of 1.4 ounces of water, compared to the standard 1.2. They’re frozen for 17.4 hours, compared to an average of 2.2 in refrigerator ice trays. Working in their Eastern Market maker space – a former styrofoam-cup storage room – the three utilize retro-fitted surgeons’ tools to shape and shine each cube to perfection.

“If we’re not satisfied we’ll throw the cube out and start over,” says Patrengelo. “Even if we’ve already put four or five hours into it.”

Klots – the upscale Midtown eatery that utilizes trained poodles to deliver appetizers – has been buying as many cubes as it can get.

“They’re gone within 20 minutes,” says owner Sheila Belleville, noting that customers eagerly pay $250 for a craft vodka & tonic with artisan ice cubes, when they’d normally pay only $155. “We’d triple our order if they could make more,” she says.

Petrangelo hopes to get to 40 cubes per week by the end of the year. He’s looking at monogrammed cubes, gift packages – and even non-cubed cubes. Also on his to-do list is devising some way to keep the ice cubes cold.

“Experience has shown us,” he says, “that after a couple hours they start to melt.”

The post Artisan Ice Cube Start-Up Struggles To Keep Up with Demand first appeared on Cubicle F.

“Being unable to breathe can be detrimental to achieving career goals,” says the room’s founder, Carla Simmons. “Unfortunately the pace is often so hectic that many people just don’t have the time.”

The room is painted white, and there are 50 brown folding chairs. There are no TVs or reading material, not even pictures on the wall. Food and drinks are not allowed. Ten different wall signs read “Breathing Only”

“You want to eat, go grab a pomegranate,” says Simmons. “You’re here for one reason: To get a couple hundred breaths ahead, then get back to work and focus on timelines and visioning statements.”

She says she’s already caught 11 people doing something other than breathing, including a CFO reviewing budget forecasts on his smart phone. “When we catch someone cheating they’re automatically banned for a year,” says Simmons. 

The current breathing rate – just $45 per minute – was set low to promote the room, Simmons says. She plans to increase it in September to at $70.

“It’s money well spent,” she says. “A person needs to breathe.”

The post No Time to Breathe? Visit Detroit’s New Breathing Room… first appeared on Cubicle F.

Jellistic: Makes shopping easier for end-consumers by providing access to websites featuring items that end-consumers are most likely to shop for

Spontification: Develops strategies to eliminate the middleman without revealing what it does with the middleman

Plopnik: Creates software that companies will find applicable in varying circumstantial situations, but does not refer to it as software so it is perceived as being different that other software

Wheeeez: Develops platforms and programs for up-and-coming companies that want to become risk takers without taking risks

Intraspectation: Utilizes innovative methods to disrupt the investment industry – for instance, by barging into traditional firms, insulting people, and making fun of their projects.

Crumpist: Helps companies harness both resources and energy – most harness just one or the other – then combines them into one entity and re-packages it for sale to other companies at slightly above harnessing costs

PrimP: Develops strategies for companies that want to take things to new levels, but aren’t sure where to find these levels – or having found them, how to verify that they’re actually levels, and if they’re actually new.

Closmore: Works with businesses suffering from an excessive entrepreneurial vibe to control the vibe’s volume when it becomes so loud that people are unable to concentrate on their entrepreneurial tasks. 

The post Eight Innovative New Companies in Detroit’s TechTown Now Hiring first appeared on Cubicle F.

Pulsification: Aggregates the USA’s top 25 corporate pulses and sorts them three ways – by the number of people who have their fingers on them, by whether that number is up or down from the previous year, and by how many change makers and thought leaders are involved in the process

NoJimTurner: Blocks any calls, text or emails from anyone named Jim Turner.  Says Drumple CEO Shelly Vipner: “Our research tells us there’s a tremendous market among people who want absolutely no contact with people who are named Jim Turner.” The company is reportedly working on a NoMonicaPeterson app, but has run into some obstacles – primarily from Monica Peterson.

BackMonkey:  Analyzes short-term challenges and refines them through a 36-step process – resulting in them being re-classified as long-term challenges and ultimately as permanent problems.

PoopORG: Organizes and coordinates trips to the restroom for office staffs larger than 50 – aiming at reducing lost productivity caused by too many people being gone at once. As a side benefit, cost-effective water pressure levels are also achieved.

Nosepics: Collects, sends and analyses pictures of noses so that users are able to meet up with people who have noses like theirs. “When all is said and done,” says Vipner. “People feel more comfortable around others with similar noses.”

The post Five New Apps to Aggregate Pulses, Block Jim Turners, Refine Challenges, Organize Restroom Breaks and Pick Noses first appeared on Cubicle F.

Why it’s cool:

• Encourages employees to eat a minimum of ten complimentary cookies per week. If all the cookies are not eaten, those left over are donated to companies that do not provide complimentary cookies.
• Rewards bold and semi-bold thinking with “life balance passes” that allow employees to stop working for 12 minutes.
• When either a male or female parent is off on unpaid paternity leave, their desk is dusted weekly at no cost to the employee.

ePlum: The online store to buy any and all types of plums

Why it’s cool:

• Allows all employees six hours per week to engage in “learning.” The employee is allowed to choose his or her own learning formats and platforms, with no restrictions, provided the learning is about plums.
• The CEO personally measures the feet of each employee during the holiday season; employees then receive certified documents verifying the size of their feet.
• Children can be brought to work with parents – and are assigned tasks, depending on their age, that will help the company achieve continued growth. Failure to complete the tasks successfully means the child is denied the free pop and lemonade available to the other children, and could also have career ramifications for the parent

Leo & Clarissa: A top-line lead generator specializing in generating high-yield leads whose first names are Leo and Clarissa.

Why it’s cool:

• If you say “Thank you” to a colleague, it is mandatory that they say back, “You’re extremely welcome.”
• Encourages out of the box thinking by actually displaying the box in the middle of the office. Employees who don’t think outside the box must spend up to three hours locked inside it.
• Has discontinued former practice of holding employees’ feet to the fire using actual fire.

The post Three Cool Detroit Companies to Work For first appeared on Cubicle F.