Three weeks ago, insurance actuarial Anita Mizon, who had died in 2015 of digestive issues, emerged from her grave and began wandering, disheveled and blank-eyed, through Altmoor, Pennsylvania.
“At first nobody thought much of it,” says resident Sally Hilford. “Ever since the pandemic, nothing really surprises you.”
Within two days, however, Mizon was joined by three more deceased actuarials – and the numbers have been growing ever since. As of Sunday there were over 100 of them, walking aimlessly through town, tottering from side to side.
The worst may be yet to come, because according to census records dating back 100 years, more actuarials have lived in Altmoor than in any other US city. In fact, Altmoor is known as the Actuarial Capital of the USA.
“Supposedly there are a thousand still buried,” says Sadie Wilson, owner of Wilson Street Café. “We’re keeping our fingers crossed they stay where they are.” The wandering actuarials, she says, are continually staring in the front window at the few diners she gets these days. “This doesn’t do much for the appetite considering how they look,” says Wilson.
And unlike walking dead people of other occupations, who can usually be eliminated by flame throwers or by having their heads cut off, the town has yet to find a way to stop the actuarials.
“We’ve tried giving them assignments like asking them to compile some term-life risk assessments,” says mayor Patty Lattimore. But they finish in a minute, she says, and start wandering again.
“We’ve always prided ourselves on being the actuarial capital,” says Lattimore. “Right now that’s not working in our favor.”
