World Beats Path to Mousetrap Factory Door

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Fifteen people were injured on Tuesday when billions of people from around the world beat a path to the door of the Newton Mousetrap Works in Fenton, Michigan.

Newton had updated its web page an hour earlier to promote its “better mousetrap” – a laser-activated device that emits a high-frequency whistle causing mice to have nervous reactions and go into hiding.

Company officials believe this may have precipitated the stampede.

CEO Tom Newton, great-grandson of founder Edmund Newton, was stunned by the global reaction. “We’ve always built a good mousetrap”, he says, “but we never dreamed that building a better mousetrap would generate this kind of response.”

When they heard the rumbling of the approaching crowd – “It sounded like a freight train,” says Newton – he and his staff ran to the front window. There they saw the swarming crowd: Red and yellow, black and white, with dress styles varying from colorful robes to wooden shoes.  They were pushing, shoving and falling as they frantically beat a path to the door.

The better trap was 12 years in the making, says Newton, with researchers having first experimented with florescent bait, frightening cat pictures, and recordings of Britney Spears.