In 2023, for the first time, sales of the little blue pill that helps remedy sexual difficulties were surpassed by the little yellow pill that does the same for corporate dysfunction.
“As a society we’ve finally gotten to the point where we’re not ashamed to admit we may need a little help performing in the workplace,” says Dr. Leo LaDuke of Spokane’s Palmeri Insititute.
The yellow pill first hit the market in 2012, when just 17 were sold. It has since proven effective in battling conditions like pulminary volcose (the inability to hit the ground running), generic hyperlation (weak consensus building skills) and Malltin’s Phenomonen (which prevents the brain from processing vision statements).
Since then, the pill has helped millions get their careers back on track and sales have grown each year.
“I couldn’t raise the bar more than an inch,” says Leonard Walsh, a forensic culinary consultant from Little Rock. “But after just two weeks on the yellow pill I was up to five inches and growing.”
By 2026, planned enhancements to the medication will also help reduce the effects of hyper pinguination (freezing up while brainstorming) and balance micro-festicia (tripping while walking a fine line).
Yellow pill sales were only slightly higher last year compared to the blue – 23,000,500,000 to 23,000,500,024 – but they’re expected to grow 400-fold over the next two years as blue pill sales continue to decline.
“Being good in the bedroom may be considered a good thing,” says Dr. LaDuke, “but it’s apparent that being good in the workplace is considered an even better thing.
