Business Briefs

Business Briefs

Leftover “Clap On!” Motors Discovered in Heart Pacemakers

The consumer watchdog group Consumer Watchdog issued a warning...
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Business Briefs

Politically Correct Service Dogs Prevent Career Ending Faux “Paws”

Over 30,0000 American business people currently employ service dogs...
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Business Briefs

Utilizing the “Penny Tray” Strategy to Meet Budget Goals

January 2022 was a grim time at Santa Fe's...
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Business Briefs

More Michigan Municipalities Looking to Fill Town Drunk Positions

There are 31 municipalities looking to fill the position...
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Business Briefs

Company Sells Movie Rights to 982-Hour Task Force Meeting

Brainstorm This! - a movie based on a legendary 982-hour task force meeting at Cleveland's Minsick Bolts - will begin filming in that city next summer. The longest task...
Business Briefs

Fake Devils Swindling Businesspersons Trying to Sell Their Souls to Get Promoted

As more US businesspeople look at selling their souls to the Devil in exchange for promotions – the number has gone up by 43,000 percent in the past ten...
Business Briefs

Portland Retailer Achieves Goal of Longest Checkout Line in History

On December 19, Portland department store Fillner’s achieved a goal it had sought for 50 years: The longest checkout line ever recorded - over 1.2 miles, with an average...
Business Briefs

Incompetence-Sniffing Dogs Help Companies Improve Bottom Line

To ensure all employees are contributing their fair share, many businesses are utilizing incompetence-sniffing dogs to identify those not making the grade.   “Some breeds possess an innate ability to...
Business Briefs

Thumbtack Festival Returns to Detroit Maker Space

For the third year, thumbtack makers from across the US will gather at Detroit’s MakerSpace maker space to show off their handiwork at the second annual Thumtackular!!! festival. “We expect...
Business Briefs

Exec Fired for Not Knowing Lil’ Bow Wow is Now Just Plain Bow Wow

The Chief Transformation Officer at Milwaukee's Tellway-Platt was dismissed this week for not knowing that rapper Bow-Wow had dropped the prefix “Lil.’” Monica Pasterell, 51, was a 29-year veteran of...
Business Briefs

Norton Utilities Save Universe From Annihilation

A number of media outlets are reporting that the Universe nearly came to an abrupt end on July 10. It was saved at the last minute by the quick thinking of...
Business Briefs

Police Shut Down Fight Ring Involving Civil Engineers

Over 40 people were arrested in Wyandotte, Michigan last Saturday in connection with a fight operation pitting two civil engineers against each other. According to city police spokeswoman Celia Minsle,...
Business Briefs

From the Rank and File to the Powers That Be: Five CPA Advancement Levels

In 2014 - to eliminate chaos, confusion, and long lines in the cafeterias - CPA firms across the US standardized employee advancement levels. At any time during their careers,...
Business Briefs

Company’s Stock Falls as CEO Photographed Wearing Only One Hat

The stock price of Fresno, California-based Melipropinol2 fell 45 percent after photos of CEO Marlene Timrod, wearing only one hat, were posted across social media yesterday. “A company is doomed...
Business Briefs

As Number of Heads on Them Increase, Production of Chopping Blocks Soars

In 2015, the average number of heads on the chopping blocks of US corporations was 4.4.  Today, during the Covid-19 crisis it's 22.5 and is expected to hit 30...

MooseSkunk Closes Brick & Mortar Store: Bricks Sold, Mortar Didn’t

After a planning and implementation process that took over three years and involved over 130 focus groups, MooseSkunk announced that it is closing its Midtown Detroit brick and mortar...
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Popular Headlines

Strenuous “Ah-Ha Moments” Taking Toll on Older Workers

A 63 year-old Troy, Michigan marketing manager was in stable condition at a local hospital Tuesday following an A-Ha! Moment Collapse (AHMC) at his...

Walking Insurance Actuaries Invade Pennsylvania City

Three weeks ago, insurance actuary Anita Mizon, who had died in 2015 of digestive issues, emerged from her grave and began wandering, disheveled and...

How Many Times Do I Have to Say Hello to the Same People?

Q) During the course of a workday, I see the same people many times, usually in the hallways between meetings. I always greet them...

Mother Nature to Retire, Spokane Conglomerate Will Assume Her Responsibilities

After having served in her position for nearly 4,000 years, Mother Nature announced she will retire on December 31. Effective in January of 2026,...
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Company Mandates That Employees Spend 12 Minutes a Day at Water Cooler

When employees of Milwaukee's Turner-Marx failed to gather around the new water cooler, which had been purchased solely to facilitate conversation and encourage camaraderie,...

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