Yesterday was Groundhog Day, and official groundhog Punxutawney Phil is not only predicting six more weeks of winter – but the for the first time he’s also forecasting business trends.
“I felt it was time to diversify,” he told Bloomberg News. “These days people are looking for more than just the weather.” Phil has been predicting the remaining weeks of winter since 1966, when he inherited the job from his father, Punxutawney Arnold.
Among Phil’s business prognostications for 2014:
- The stock market will stay hot. Stocks to watch include cereal-maker Kellogg – which is considering making eyes out of the two O’s in the Fruit Loops logo– and toy-maker Mattel, which is launching a new “CPA Barbie.”
- New Federal Reserve Chairman Janet Yellen will reverse some of predecessor Ben Bernanke’s policies, including his refusal to serve lemonade at government lunches.
- The business cliché most commonly used in 2013 – “At the end of the day” – will be replaced by the new, “It’s your poison!”
- When something goes wrong with the economy, Congress will blame President Obama and President Obama will blame Congress
Phil told Bloomberg that he was especially confident about his fourth prediction.
