As recently as 2021, Executive Burnout cost US business over $600 billion a year in medical and replacement expenses. That’s likely to change, thanks to a new charging helmet that enables burned-out executives to get back to brainstorming in as little as five minutes.
Developed by Slippstick – famous for the MyTurfProtector aerosol spray – the $85,000 Execu-Charge fits snuggly to the burned-out executive’s head. When switched on, it penetrates the inner cerebrum with semi-coaxial gatling rays, calibrated specifically for each individual to attack and reverse his or her burnout.
According to the American Bureau of Business Bureaus, executive burnouts have increased by 1,082 percent since 2015 – resulting from the constant demand to build consensus, get out of comfort zones, maximize synergies, etc. And there are added pressures for those working from home, like the fear of forgetting business buzzwords accumulated over a lifetime of workplace interactions.
The Execu-Charge is currently in use at 2,100 US companies, including Cincinnati’s Solomon/Workman Trust
“Last week we had an executive burn out in the middle of a presentation,” says the company’s human resources VP, Noreen Glissich. “She clicked on her 47th slide and just froze.” HR technicians placed her on the charger – and six minutes later she clicked on the 48th slide and proceeded.
Best of all, says Glissich, since it was a research presentation nobody even realized she’d burned out.
