Business Briefs

Free Range Mechanical Engineers Fail to Meet Expectations

When US universities began developing free range mechanical engineers...

Fed Up With an Underperforming Staff, Ohio Firm Imposes Sanctions

In January 2023, having overcome pandemic-related terciary obstacles, Toledo...

FBI: Ad Exec Took Bribe to Throw Pitch to Potential Client

 A Cleveland advertising executive is behind bars this week,...

Two Hospitalized After Failed Attempt to Move the Needle

Six employees of Minneapolis equities firm Polling/Quinn were injured...

Thumbtack Festival Returns to Detroit Maker Space

For the third year, thumbtack makers from across the US will gather at Detroit’s MakerSpace maker space to show off their handiwork at the second annual Thumtackular!!! festival. “We expect...

Exec Fired for Not Knowing Lil’ Bow Wow is Now Just Plain Bow Wow

The Chief Transformation Officer at Milwaukee's Tellway-Platt was dismissed this week for not knowing that rapper Bow-Wow had dropped the prefix “Lil.’” Monica Pasterell, 51, was a 29-year veteran of...

Incompetence-Sniffing Dogs Help Companies Improve Bottom Line

To ensure all employees are contributing their fair share, many businesses are utilizing incompetence-sniffing dogs to identify those not making the grade.   “Some breeds possess an innate ability to...

Norton Utilities Save Universe From Annihilation

A number of media outlets are reporting that the Universe nearly came to an abrupt end on July 10. It was saved at the last minute by the quick thinking of...

Police Shut Down Fight Ring Involving Civil Engineers

Over 40 people were arrested in Wyandotte, Michigan last Saturday in connection with a fight operation pitting two civil engineers against each other. According to city police spokeswoman Celia Minsle,...

From the Rank and File to the Powers That Be: Five CPA Advancement Levels

In 2014 - to eliminate chaos, confusion, and long lines in the cafeterias - CPA firms across the US standardized employee advancement levels. At any time during their careers,...

Company’s Stock Falls as CEO Photographed Wearing Only One Hat

The stock price of Fresno, California-based Melipropinol2 fell 45 percent after photos of CEO Marlene Timrod, wearing only one hat, were posted across social media yesterday. “A company is doomed...

MooseSkunk Closes Brick & Mortar Store: Bricks Sold, Mortar Didn’t

After a planning and implementation process that took over three years and involved over 130 focus groups, MooseSkunk announced that it is closing its Midtown Detroit brick and mortar...

CEO Resigns After “Hats Off to Everyone!” Tweet Goes Viral

Patrick Waterston, CEO of PlumRankTwelve, resigned on Monday following an offensive tweet that was shared over 280 million times.  At 10:12 AM he tweeted a congratulatory message to the...

Downsizing Plan: Keep All Employees, But Reduce Each Person by 50%

Faced with the need to reduce its workforce by half, Denver's Pimpernel Strategics  bucked the usual trend. Instead of eliminating 50 percent of the staff, it maintained its entire...

Four Reasons Gas Prices Are Up

Gas prices across the USA have risen past $3.00 per gallon – the first time they’ve been that high since 1877. According to PumpPriceUSA, the consumer group that goes around...

Customer-Obsessed Company Arrested for Looking in Window

Aldemon Logistics of San Francisco - whose mission statement describes it as "customer obsessed" was arrested on May 15 for looking in the window of a customer. According to the...

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Popular Headlines

Entire State of Rhode Island May Soon be Replaced by One Enormous Data Center

If proposed Bill 234-6W is passed by the state’s general assembly next week - and recent polling shows it will be - Rhode Island...

Ingredients-Free Menu Makes for Healthier Dining Experience

When it opened a year ago, Montie's in Midtown Detroit needed an edge over its competitors in the the city's crowded restaurant scene: Its...

New “Eleanor” A.I. Eliminates Jobs by Just Randomly Eliminating Jobs

One of the benefits of A.I. is that it will help businesses increase efficiency and reduce payroll by taking over functions like copywriting, data...

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? For Some Lucky People, it Could be the CEO!

In January, Memphis brokerage firm House-Winters introduced “Dinner with the Boss” - where, once a month, CEO Sylvia Rankin visits  the home of one...

Finally! Product Packaging That Absolutely Nobody Can Get Open

Chicago home goods maker Peers & Webb has achieved the goal that has eluded businesses for over a century: A product package that is...